


i don't know where i'm going, but it's where i wanna be

by carrotsuno



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Artist Hinata Shouyou, Drinking, Future Fic, Gen, Long Shot, M/M, MSBY gen fic, Miya Atsumu Being an Idiot, Miya Atsumu is a cry baby, Miya atsumu is groucho from animal crossing, One Shot, Post Time Skip, Sakusa Kiyoomi is an Aries, Sakusa pov, Slice of Life, Swearing, a handful of manga spoilers, antarctic researchers, bokuaka get married, but theyre not actually playing volleyball, general layabout miya atsumu, kiyoomi discovers the power of friendship, sakusa crushing on ushijima mention, tried to write without romance but whats the point in post time skip if bokuaka arent married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24822691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carrotsuno/pseuds/carrotsuno
Summary: Welcome to Antarctica, I hope you like the smell of penguin piss 🐧
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 8
Kudos: 53





	i don't know where i'm going, but it's where i wanna be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CrownedCupcake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrownedCupcake/gifts).



> Part of The Orange Court's "Ice" themed summer solstice exchange!!!!
> 
> Dedicated to lovely Lucy!!💚
> 
> I watched a documentary called "the penguin post office" about 5 years ago and this is all based on my half baked memories of it.
> 
> ive been staring at [this image](https://66.media.tumblr.com/77aa4590943bd61a50a1e26b67c386f6/e725ea3410957645-af/s640x960/0dda7370e49dbef0a5fcf8bf1374b145ed16af13.jpg) for inspiration for the last few weeks, just to give you the vibe.  
> the title comes [ I Locked My Time Capsule by Fireworks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2gREsVIOfk)

Cambridge University, Department of Pathology. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi wasn’t entirely sure on how he’d ended up studying microbiology to a doctorate. On the other hand, he 100% knew how.

During their third year of high school, Komori Motoya skipped up to his desk one lunchtime, and asked; “Hey, Kiyo-kun!” his voice as cheerful as ever. “Why don’t we go to the arcade together this weekend?” 

Sakusa sighed deeply, turning his head to look out the window, ignoring him. His cousin’s persistence to check up on his wellbeing was annoying. “No.” His answer was blunt.

Komori deflated with a sigh. “Kiyoomi…” he paused, sadly sitting opposite Sakusa. “You can’t go your whole life avoiding plans.”

Sakusa huffed at the remark. “I can,” he mumbled. “I’ve always only done the things I want. What is the point of getting involved in things that bore me?”

“You can’t know that everything will be boring.” Komori rested his head in his hands. “We’re not gonna be together much longer. I’m moving away, so are you. So promise me, please, Kiyoomi-kun, you’ll say yes to one plan every month.” 

Sakusa couldn’t say no to Komori’s sad puppy face. It annoyed him extremely because it tugged on the single heartstring Sakusa often forgot he had. Komori in a lot of respects had always reminded Sakusa of his great-aunt’s Shiba Inu, Maru-chan.

Maru-chan was Sakusa’s only friend as a child until Komori came along in middle school. _Oh Maru-chan, look what you’re making me do. I don’t want to let you down._

“Fine.” Sakusa agreed to the arrangement. “But, I’m not going to the filthy arcade with you.”

Not turning plans down had made Sakusa’s life a little more entertaining. Though it was too embarrassing for him to admit the reasoning behind his sudden changes of heart. He wouldn’t be where he was without an out of character “Yes.” spoken on the last day of each month, all to appease the spirit of his great-aunt’s late pet.

Sakusa was currently living in England, mid-way through a PhD at Cambridge. Researching how climate change affected polar microbial ecology, with a specialism in antarctic fungi. Sakusa greatly feared and respected the world of microbiology. Being a lifelong germaphobe, with borderline tendencies to slip into something more obsessive-compulsive if he thought about the world for too long. Somehow, researching microbes to understand their grotesque germy motives, soothed his achingly clean hands. Saying yes to attending a visiting lecturer’s talk, saying yes to reading book suggestions on subjects he never would have entertained before, all became the reasoning to why Sakusa was researching the niche subject of _“Wait…how the hell does a mushroom grow on an ice cube????”_. All of this was Komori’s fault.

Him and his stupid eyebrows.

Sakusa liked working on Friday afternoons. Everyone in his department got that “Friday Feeling” and tended to leave the office earlier than normal. It gave Sakusa the time to sit in peace. 

Today, he was contemplating that one episode of The X Files about silicone based mushroom lifeforms. It had haunted him since he was a young child. 

Currently disturbing his peaceful Friday, however, came in the shape of his program leader.

The professor was a nice man, with a bubbly attitude, and zest for life. He hugged everyone he met, no matter how formal the occasion. Sakusa despised it, but he tolerated him for the fact that he was incredibly knowledgeable. He was great at explaining things in its simplest terms. That was his only redeeming quality.

“Kiyoomi!” the professor sang as he wheeled his office chair over to Sakusa’s desk. “I have a proposition for you.”

Oh no. Sakusa gulped. This was not good.

Today was the 31st of May. Last night, Komori had sent him a simple message which read:

_“You broke your promise last month :( don’t break Maru-chan’s heart again Kiyo-kun.”_

Sakusa was in trouble.

He removed his computer glasses, turning to face the professor. “What type of proposition would that be?”

The professor smirked at his eagerness, “As you already know, next year is my sabbatical.” 

Sakusa held in a sigh, everyone in the entire department knew about the professor’s sabbatical. You’ve worked for 7 years, big whoop, well done, we get it, want a fruit basket? 

“Well, I’ve had word back from the research station in Antarctica. Along with myself, they asked if I knew anyone else who’d like to tag along.” He let out a toothy grin, knowing Sakusa would turn him down. Even so, his politeness prevailed the need to ask him just in case. “I could put in a good word for you.”

Sakusa’s internal voice was screaming, he stared at his computer desktop, blinding his retinas to drown out the sound of his spiralling worries in his head of why this was a bad idea, the worst idea, the most terrible idea he’d ever pursued. He couldn’t possibly go. However, he also couldn’t face calling Komori tonight. He was a terrible liar, and he was racked with guilt.

Sakusa quickly sat up straight, inhaling sharply. “Sure. Count me in.” he tried to form what he thought was a smile, knowing full-well how unsettling his grimace must look.

The professor bellowed a laugh in disbelief. “Really?” Sakusa nodded through gritted teeth. “I’ll email you over the paperwork.” the professor wheeled himself back to his desk. “I look forward to working with you sabbatical buddy.” he shot back finger-guns at Sakusa. Sakusa did his best to force a laugh in return.

On the outside, Sakusa was calm. Quietly, conscientiously getting back to typing up his research notes. At the same time, on the inside, he imagined himself climbing a tall tall mountain in the dark. He was drenched through from the storm raging around him. Upon reaching the summit, he let out the biggest scream. A scream louder than the thunder. He screamed for as long as he could manage; till his lungs ached. 

_I hope you’re happy with yourself Motoya, I hope this brings joy to your sad little life._

  
  


Sakusa hated traveling. Asides from the unknown germs recycling themselves for hours inside the air system, and the suffocating feeling of being surrounded by strangers without a place to escape. What Sakusa hated the most about travelling, was his travel sickness. 

He had felt revealed when his program leader booked a non-stop flight to Cape Town, their place of connection to Antarctica. Even so, that was still 12 hours of feeling like if he moved a single inch, he would be ankle-deep in vomit. 

For this trip, Sakusa had searched high and low for months to find the drowsiest anti-sickness drugs on the market. His plan from the beginning was to sleep the whole two day journey away. Which mostly worked out as he had hoped. That was until he found himself stumbling out into the Antarctic cold, what a horrible horrible dream to wake up in.

Sakusa had imagined what it might be like on arrival. He had dreamt of an otherworldly beach, surrounded by penguins all chattering quaintly together, running up to him like little puppies wanting to be petted. The little penguins smiling with their eyes warming his heart from the sub-zero temperatures. Sakusa did his best to squint through the strong wind that sprayed powdered snow into his eyes. Not a penguin in sight. He wasn’t surprised that the coastal station wasn’t actually built on the penguin beach itself, though he was a little disappointed to find it was 5 kilometres uphill from it.

A man welcomed in the new arrivals, he introduced himself as Shugo Meian.

In Sakusa’s drowsy state he retained absolutely nothing from the conversation, apart from that lunch would be served at 1 today. 

All Sakusa wanted to do was sleep, take a shower, and maybe eat a kilo of pickled plums.

Drifting through the living and dining areas on Meian’s tour, Sakusa was comforted by how homely the station felt.

“Hey, Kiyoomi-san, you speak Japanese right?” 

Sakusa snapped out of his foggy state from hearing Meian speak his first language. Sakusa nodded, his brain felt like jelly. 

“Do you prefer to be called Kiyoomi, or Sakusa, because I can refer to you as either.” Sakusa rubbed his eyes trying to focus on how to speak. Meian’s smile was too big, too bright for him to look at this early in the morning. Even if it was 11 am local time.

“I would prefer if nobody referred to me at all, but what can you do?” he shrugged. Meian let out a nervous chuckle. Sakusa sighed, it was tough having a sense of humour. “I’ve always preferred Sakusa, but I’m used to people calling me Kiyoomi now. I don’t really care what you call me.”

Meian let out a belly laugh, slapping Sakusa on the back. “Wonderful!” Sakusa nearly tripped from the contact, trying to form a smile to show he was ‘laughing it off’.

“Here you are Kiyoomi-kun!” Meian announced. “We’ve put you in the black-backed jackals' cabin.” Meian handed Sakusa the keys to his cabin.

Sakusa stared at the engraved metal door plate. He turned to Meian. “Wouldn’t it have made more sense to name the cabins after Antarctic species?”

Meian shrugged his shoulders with a cheeky grin. “Your guess is as good as mine.” He patted Sakusa on the back again. Sakusa was going to snap if Meian touched him one more time. “Still, they’re a bunch of lovely lads you're sharing with. Most of them are from Japan too. I’m sure you’ll all get on like a house on fire.” he patted Sakusa on the back for the third time, before leaving to continue with his tour.

Sakusa winced. Not just from being ready to punch Meian right in his perfectly perfect jaw. Getting on like a house on fire was one of his least favourite idioms in the english language. For one, he didn’t understand it, and he wished people wouldn’t use it. For another thing, if his previous attempts at fast friendships had got anything to do with it, Sakusa was the arsonist, and he was leaving it all to burn.

Turning his shiny new key in the door with a click, Sakusa made his way into the cabin. There was a small entrance porch, with a shoe rack, and coat hooks. Sakusa lugged his suitcase into the entrance, closing the door behind him trying to make the least noise as possible. Sakusa quietly untied his shoes leaving them in the pile by the front of the door, gathering up the courage to call out to whoever may be listening.

“Hello?” he called out quietly, stepping into the hallway. “Konichiwa?” he spoke a little louder, realising his voice would be muffled behind the face mask he was still wearing.

Sakusa could hear voices talking in another room, he daren’t move any further. He hated meeting new people. His anxious body had stuck him fast to the floor.

A very tall, dark haired boy poked his head out into the corridor. “Oh!” his voice was excited, with a hint of an Eastern European accent. “Konichiwa! Welcome, welcome!” there was kindness in his eyes. “Do you need any help with your bags? I’m Adriah Tomas, it’s so nice to meet you! Are you our new flatmate?” he spoke fast, his voice was melodic yet calming, Sakuda could listen to that for a long time. He had a huge fondness for a good ASMR voice.

Before Sakusa could stutter any other words out, Adriah called for the others in the living room to come say hello. Adriah grabbed Sakusa’s suitcase wheeling it towards what Sakusa assumed was his room. Sakusa had to bite his tongue, he hated kindness, he needed to be in complete control of the new situation. He took a deep breath, trying to let it go. Hopefully, the others were as sweet as Adriah, then it wouldn’t be so bad.

Greeting him in the hallway, fussing over helping Adriah with the luggage, was a small white haired boy about the same ago. He must have been half the height of Adriah. Then another face appeared from the living room. Skulking on the threshold of the hallway, a face that said _“This is my home; I don’t like change.”_ someone he was sure he knew from high school. Sakusa pulled a quizzical look at him. The face retreated into the living room.

“Wow, Atsumu you truly are so lazy.” the white haired boy taunted the other. Sakusa could hear Atsumu’s eyes roll through the wall. “Come, come, sit down I bet you’re exhausted.” the white haired boy guided Sakusa into the living room. It was small and cosy, but most importantly it was warm. Atsumu sat up against the space heater on the floor, hogging the heat for himself. Sakusa perched himself on the end of an extremely soft looking sofa, knowing if he sat down fully he would immediately fall asleep. He couldn’t have that, he’d feel embarrassed over it for the rest of his life.

“I’m Shion.” the white haired boy beamed. “This is Atsumu,” Shion leant towards Sakusa like he was about to share a secret, but added in a loud enough hush that Atsumu could hear. “He’s an asshole, you’ll get used to it.”

“Hey!” Atsumu cried out from the floor, “I can introduce myself, asshole.” Atsumu threw a cushion at Shion’s head. “I’m Miya Atsumu,” he pushed his hair back off his face. “I’m not an asshole, it’s the rest of the world that’s got a problem with me.”

Sakusa squinted at Atsumu, “I think we know each other.” he meant to keep his statement to himself. Atsumu’s eyes widened, a little fearful at the idea of being known. 

In the blink of an eye, he returned to his default asshole persona. “Nope. You don’t know me.” He stuck his tongue out at Sakusa.

Adriah returned to the room still smiling as sweetly as before, unintentionally diffusing the situation. “Can I get you anything? Make any tea? Any coffee?” he sat on the arm of the chair where Shion was. 

“No, thank you.” Sakusa politely declined. 

“We cleaned the room out for you, so you don't need to worry about that. Just to let you know that the cleaning supplies are kept in the big cupboard in the kitchen if you ever need them in the future.” 

Sakusa internally screamed. Scrunching his drowsy eyes up. For a moment he had forgotten that if he didn’t want to sleep standing up, he would need to personally clean out his new room to settle his head.

“Thank you for making me feel so welcome.” a well-rehearsed phrase, spoken in the kindest, calmest of voice he could find. It filled Adriah’s gentle face with glee. Sakusa shuffled awkwardly in his place. The quicker he got this over with the quicker he could disinfect his room: find a shower, disinfect the shower, use the shower, then finally get into bed. “My name is Sakusa Kiyoomi, I look forward to living with you all.” he bowed forward a little, mostly out of habit.

“So,” Atsumu stretched, leaning back against an armchair behind him. “What are you in for Kiyoooooomi?” a cheeky glint sparkled in his eyes as he elongated the name. Sakusa huffed, he didn’t have the time.

“Mushrooms,” he spoke jokingly.

Adriah and Shion let out a simultaneous laugh. “Seriously?” they exclaimed in unison.

“Well,” Sakusa relaxed his posture a bit. “Fungi, to be specific. All mushrooms are fungi, but not all fungi are mushrooms. I research for the pathology department at Cambridge.” 

“Wow, so cool!” Adriah whispered aloud. 

Atsumu rolled his eyes, trying to show how uninterested he was. _What a dick._

“What are you in for, Miya-san?” Sakusa turned the question back on Atsumu.

He grinned. “Wouldn't you like to know mushroom boy." Atsumu pushed the hair out of his face, sitting back. "I’m here because I’m running away from myself.” he chuckled, stretching out his legs. “It was either this or join a monkery.”

Shion sniggered, leaning over slapping Atsumu’s head. “Do you mean a monastery? Asshole.” 

“Oi!” Atsumu shouted. “We don’t all have an English degree Shion!” he pouted whilst rubbing his head.

Shion continued to laugh at Atsumu, Adriah joined in. “I have a degree in mechanical engineering.” Sakusa felt the need to let out a small chuckle of his own over Atsumu’s reddening face. 

“Fuck this shit.” Atsumu stood up, storming out of the cabin full of embarrassment. “I’m off to see Shouyou.”

The three of them laughed over the sounds of Atsumu angrily tying his shoes, then slamming the door behind him.

“Who’s Shouyou?” Sakusa yawned.

“He’s our other housemate.” Shion answered.

“He’s an artist, he’s really cool!” Adriah praised excitedly.

“Yeh, he’s the only thing that makes Atsumu tolerable. They’ve been going out, pretty much since Shouyou started living with us.” 

Adriah nodded in agreement. “They got together fast.”

“Atsumu can be nice when he wants to be. His problem is he tries too hard.” Adriah giggled at Shion's remarks. “He’s been here for too long. Hey, Sakusa, how long are you here for?”

Sakusa tried to blink out of his groggy cloud. “Oh, um, just one term, 9 months, what about you two?”

Shion smiled back, “I’m here, on and off all the time. I’m one of the engineers making vehicles and stuff for fieldwork. We’ll probably end up working together at some point. You’re on your second term now?” he asked Adriah.

“Yep!” Adriah affirmed.

“Atsumu is on his third term in a row now.” Shion raised his eyebrows at Sakusa. “Some people are here because they genuinely love penguins.”

Adriah blushed, interrupting. “It’s true, I love penguins!” he brought his hands to his face. “They’re so cute.”

Shion continued, smiling fondly at Adriah’s cooing. “Especially those that work in the post office.”

“There’s a post office?” Sakusa interrupted Shion.

“Yeh,” Shion spoke in a laugh. “It’s really busy with tourists in the summer. Postal workers usually don’t work here for more than a term, two at most. But, Atsumu is still here.… When Atsumu says he’s run away, I sometimes think he means it.”

Sakusa pondered Shion’s words. He tried to piece together where he knew Atsumu from. Maybe high school? Sakusa’s brain was done with thinking. He wanted to sleeeeeeeeep.

  
  


When Sakusa woke from his dreamless sleep, he roused to the scent of lemon disinfectant. “Oh fuck,” he remembered into the silence. “I’m in Antarctica.” Sakusa tried to piece together the foggy memories of earlier. Sitting up, looking around his room, he vaguely recalled arriving. Meeting everyone, hastily disinfecting the shower, and his room, before taking a shower and passing out on top of the bed. Sakusa rubbed his eyes awake, his tummy was rumbling. He hoped he hadn’t slept through lunch.

Sakusa made his way out of his room, towards their small kitchen area to grab a drink of water.

“Oh my goodness!” Adriah startled himself, bumping into Sakusa in the corridor. “I’m so sorry!” Adriah apologised. He placed his hand on his chest, letting out a reassured sigh. “I’m glad to see that you’re still alive.” his smile was thankful.

Sakusa followed him into the living space, puzzled at the statement.

Shion was sitting in the kitchen’s window seat, replying to emails on his laptop. “Oh!” he called out surprised to see Sakusa appear before Adriah. “We were getting worried,” he gave a small smile. “Adriah was getting ready to check on you. Thought you might have knocked yourself out from cleaning.”

Sakusa leant down to open the under counter fridge. “Why?” he grabbed a bottle of water. “How long was I out?” Sakusa did feel refreshed from sleeping, which made a nice change from his usual 5 hours.

Shion chuckled to himself watching Adriah try to count on his fingers. “Well, if you went to sleep at 12 yesterday…”

“Yesterday?” Sakusa missed his mouth trying to take a drink.

Adriah nodded. “That’s about, 18 or so hours you’ve been asleep for.”

Sakusa stood with his mouth open in disbelief stuttering. “Wha…What time is it?” he turned to the kitchen clock, not sure if it was AM or PM.

“It’s 6 in the morning,” Shion told him, holding in a laugh at Sakusa’s silent panic.

“You’re almost in time for breakfast!” Adriah attempted to reassure him. “You missed yesterday’s fresh produce lunch buffet chaos. But the first breakfast is even better!” he cried out, not able to contain his excitement.

“I can’t wait to eat an entire ripe papaya to myself.” Shion spoke dreamily. 

“Honeycomb.” Adriah closed his eyes, licking his lips. “I’m so ready to eat enough fresh honeycomb that my teeth fall out.”

_Gross_. Sakusa kept to himself. Sakusa sat at their table, still bewildered he’d slept an entire day away.

“You better get ready.” Shion closed his laptop, turning to Sakusa. “The best foods go first, we’re gonna go join the queue.”

Sakusa stood up from the table, resigned. He liked fresh fruit, but right now he mainly just wanted to eat rice.

Adriah tried to wake Atsumu and Shouyou for breakfast. Atsumu was dragging his feet waking up, so they left without him. Sakusa was surprised that most of the colleagues living in their station were also camped out early.

Sakusa got cornered by his program leader on the way asking how he was. 

“I slept for 18 hours.” Sakusa spoke deadpan.

His program leader bellowed a laugh, rattling on about the dream he had had. He dreamt he’d fallen off the clifftop they were due to visit for fieldwork on Monday. Way to make Sakusa’s anxiety gain another thing to worry about. The professor thought it was hilarious, hoping it wasn’t a prophecy. Sakusa maintained a straight face.

The line started to move, with an almighty round of applause for the kitchen staff. Sakusa had no idea what was going on.

He wiggled himself through the crowd away from his professor.

“Ah, Kiyoomi-kun.” Sakusa could not remember the Japanese man’s name. “Didn’t see much of you yesterday, are you well?” he asked.

“I slept for 18 hours.” he repeated the same sentence, the man bellowed a laugh just like his program leader, slapping a pat on his shoulder. Sakusa shivered. Ah, Shugo Meian.

“Well, at least you won’t have to worry about jet lag now.” Meian passed him a cafeteria tray. “Don’t get used to the 5 star breakfast.”

Sakusa saw what he was talking about. An incredible, abundant display of breakfast foods, similar to a 5 star airport hotel he stayed in once. Fruits, berries, porridge, breads, pancakes, english breakfast staples, european cheeses, even other savoury dishes like congee. There was a lot of food.

“The chef’s get a little carried away this time of year. New people means fresh ingredients, it makes a nice change from the pantry stock foods we’ve been eating for the last few months.” Meian helped himself to a hefty serving of scrambled eggs.

Sakusa slunked away towards the congee. Helping himself to lots of fresh ginger, bean curd, and spring onions.

Sakusa spotted Atsumu sitting by himself, he held in a grin eager to annoy the other.

“Got no friends Miya-san?” he taunted.

“I’m waiting for Shouyou.” Atsumu angrily peeled a clementine.

Sakusa followed his jealous eyes to see a tiny orange haired boy energetically laughing at avocados with a man who was so tall his head nearly brushed the ceiling. He must be almost 7ft tall. Sakusa had no idea which one was Atsumu’s type.

“Which one’s your boyfriend?” he quipped.

Atsumu glowered at Sakusa biting at the taunt. “The cute short one, you dick.”

Before Sakusa could tease Atsumu further, Shouyou skipped over to the table, still giggling.

“I was just saying to Oliver, I’ve not seen avocados this big since I lived in Brazil.” he held the avocado up to his head, it was the same size.

Atsumu giggled along with him, his expression so soft and enamoured. In complete contrast to 5 seconds ago. “Aren’t ya gonna introduce yourself to Oomi Oomi?”

In his head, Sakusa made a vomit noise. _Oomi Oomi…what the fuck?_

“Ah!! This is Oomi-kun!?” Shouyou set down the avocado, introducing himself to Sakusa. “I’m Hinata Shouyou! It’s nice to finally meet you.” his shining smiley expression was like looking directly into the sun, Shouyou made of sunshine. “I’m sorry I was in my studio most of yesterday.” he carved into the giant avocado. “You should come visit my studio some time?”

Sakusa pondered the idea, chewing a piece of ginger with his front teeth. He could… Shouyou came across as genuinely nice. Agreeing to it would also get Komori off his back too.

“I might do, when I’m free.” Even Sakusa’s mouth was a little upturned at the plan. Sakusa knew his smile was goofy, he usually had to force it out to be polite. But for once, the lopsided smile on his face was a genuine one.

Shouyou hummed with glee. “I hope you slept well, by the way.”

“I slept for 18 hours.” he admitted once again, eating a spoonful of his congee to the sound of Shouyou’s infectious laughter.

“Are you really gonna eat that entire avocado raw?” Atsumu picked at his pancakes, which were doused in strawberries and syrup.

“Do you want some?” Shouyou offered.

Atsumu opened his mouth like a little bird, accepting the food. “Ok, I was wrong that avocado is really good.”

“Isn’t it!” Shouyou didn’t let up his grin. It felt easy to be in Shouyou’s presence. Even if that did include having to share the space with Atsumu.

“I’m not just eating avocado. I’ve got some mushrooms as well.” Shouyou exclaimed, eating a raw chestnut mushroom whole.

“Shouyou-kun.” Atsumu gasped. “You can’t just eat Sakusa’s friends in front of him!”

“Huh!” Shouyou looked between Atsumu and Sakusa like he’d been caught red-handed by his mother, secretly eating sweets.

Sakusa sighed, “I’m here to research fungi. Though, like I’m sure I already told Atsumu, not all fungi are mushrooms. Mushrooms are more my acquaintances than my friends.”

Shouyou laughed, eating another mushroom. “That’s super interesting,” his expression was true. “Hey, Oomi-kun.” Sakusa looked up from his meal. “If Atsumu ever says anything dumb, I usually just ignore it.”

“Hey!” Atsumu yelled, annoyed.

Sakusa let out a real laugh. “Thanks, I’ll remember that advice.”

“Hey, this isn’t fair.” Atsumu continued to protest. “I am not annoying!”

Shouyou patted him on the head. “You are a little, a lot, a little…But, I still love you regardless.” Shouyou offered him a mushroom. 

Atsumu once again closed his eyes, accepting the food like a baby bird. His eyes shot open. His expression changed to repulsed. “I hate mushrooms.” he mumbled with it still in his mouth.

“Why did you take it from me then.” Shouyou rolled his eyes. “Give it here.” he flattened his hand out, and Atsumu spat the mushroom in it. Shouyou then ate the mushroom.

Sakusa felt physically sick watching Shouyou eat an already chewed mushroom. “You two are disgusting.” 

Atsumu’s face went red with laughter. “We’ve done worse.”

Sakusa _did not_ want to know.

“It would have gone to waste.” Shouyou tried to reason. “We share saliva all the time.”

“That’s it. I’m leaving.” Sakusa stood with his breakfast, leaving their table to go sit with Shion and Adriah. The soundtrack of Shouyou and Atsumu’s laughter echoing behind him.

  
  


The first few weeks went well for Sakusa, and he was far from an optimist. There was something about living in a timezone 12 hours ahead of his usual work schedule that made him feel less stressed. The microbiology team was friendly, relaxed, and more importantly easy to work with. The changing spring weather had managed to hold long enough for a couple of field trips to nearby islands on the peninsula. 

Checking his emails one morning, Sakusa noticed a message from his mother.

“My darling son, I haven’t heard from you in so long. Please, don’t forget about your little old mama whilst you’re out having fun. I want to know how you’re getting on! Send me a postcard with a return address, I will ship you some pickled plums. Love you always, Mummy xxx”

Sakusa rested his head back in his desk chair, staring up at the wooden ceiling of his room. His mother had become overbearing in her retirement. It was all to make up for the years she was absent in his life. She was kind-hearted and had always been loving, but her career had meant she didn’t have the time for him as a child. He wished he’d had the love when he needed it, now it was suffocating. He groaned realising, if he sent a postcard to his mother, it meant having to send one to the rest of his mother’s side of the family a postcard as well. That involved too much energy to be social. 

Begrudgingly, after several days of consideration, Sakusa wrote a postcard to his mother, his brothers, his aunt and uncle; Komori’s mum and dad, grandfather, and Komori himself. He also wrote a postcard for his great aunt from his father’s side, and his friend Ushijima Wakatoshi, not because he had to, but because he wanted to. He managed to change their messages ever so slightly that once his mother called everyone about it, they would each have something different to add to his overly positive take of living in Antarctica.

Spring had finally settled in, making Sakusa’s walk to the post office a pleasant one. It was early enough that the first cruise ship of the day hadn’t pulled up yet, and still early enough that Atsumu wouldn’t be working, he would be cleaning the tourist trails of penguin poo.

He entered the post office, the door chime dinged as he opened the door. Bokuto, Sakusa thought was his name, was working this morning.

Bokuto looked up from behind the counter, where he was sorting today’s postal delivery. “Oh!” he pointed to Sakusa. “Uh umuuh.” he stuttered, scratching his head thinking. Sakusa stood, staring blankly at him from the doorway. “Sakura-kun!” he yelled with a smile.

Sakusa almost gagged at the name. Shouyou and Atsumu calling him Oomi-kun was bad enough. _Sakura_ was 10 times more embarrassing.

“My name is Saku _sa_ Kiyoomi.” he corrected, walking into the building. It was a lot bigger than he’d expected. Full of nicknacks and general tourist crap.

“Ah!” Bokuto shouted. “Sa! Ku!…Sa!” he corrected. “Kiyoomi, the mushroom boy!”

Sakusa looked out of the window to sea, longing to swim all the way home. He unwillingly didn’t correct him.

“TsumTsum-kun has told me about you. I’m Bokuto Koutarou!” Bokuto was loud, very loud for Sakusa’s sensitive ears. “Haha!” he scream-laughed right in Sakusa’s face, pointing out of the window distracted. “Look at him!”

Sakusa followed Bokuto’s finger-pointing at Atsumu slipping and sliding all over the ice path he had just swilled down. He tripped over, landing flat on his arse. Bokuto was pressed up against the window, howling with laughter. Sakusa found himself laughing along too. 

Atsumu looked up flipping them both off. Sakusa read Atsumu’s lips _“Fuck You.”_

“TsumTsum is so funny.” Bokuto wiped tears from his eyes. “Is it mean to make fun of him?”

Sakusa didn’t need time to think about the answer. “For him? No, it’s not mean.”

“That’s good.” Bokuto took himself back to his letter pile smiling. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Hinata was telling me about their new roommate. Have you been to his studio yet?” Bokuto chittered whilst he sorted mail by departments.

“Not yet, I plan on dropping by, I -” Sakusa got cut off as Bokuto gasped loudly inside the postal sack.

“AAAAAA!” Bokuto screamed, lifting a large flat box above his head. He scurried around to find something to open it with. “AAAAAAA!” he yelled opening the package with a box cutter. Tears forming at his eyes as he hugged a handwritten letter inside.

“Are you ok?” Sakusa was confused.

Bokuto was crying, with a soft smile on his face. “It’s a love letter from Akaaaaaaaaashiii.” he sang the name, kissing the paper. He hadn’t even read the note, and he was emotional.

“Who is Akaashi?” Sakusa asked. Though in honesty, he didn’t care to know. He just wanted to mail his postcards and leave, keeping well away from the sea of locust tourists that were due.

Bokuto’s face was bashful, a light blush on his cheeks, his whole posture was different from the large personality of his normal stance. Sakusa liked this quiet version of Bokuto, it almost made him interesting. “Akaashi Keiji is my fiance.” his blush deepened, carefully lifting the top layers of bubble wrap and scented tissue paper in the box. Bokuto gasped again, so sharply he almost inhaled the entire box like Kirby. “AND THESE ARE OUR WEDDING INVITATIONS!” He screamed once more. Quiet Bokuto had left the building. Sakusa tsk’d internally.

Sakusa was confused again. “Wedding invitations?”

Bokuto nodded excitedly. “We’re getting married here!” he squealed. Suddenly, his mouth opened into a large O shape. “Would you like to come Sakura-kun? , uh Ih uhhmm, Koomi-san!? ” 

Sakusa pulled a face, _Koomi-san?_ The names were getting worse. Bokuto shoved an invitation in his face. Sakusa noticed the ring on his left ring finger. It was a simple silver coloured band, an elegant line of diamonds running across the middle, with brushed metal either side of the jewels. The ring brought elegance to Bokuto’s large clumsy hands. It was obvious the ring wasn’t chosen by him, but it was chosen with him in mind. The way the diamonds sparkled in the light, Sakusa knew Bokuto took a lot of care keeping it clean.

“You’re getting married here?” Sakusa looked up from the invite.

Bokuto nodded with a giggle, hastily finishing off his job. “Yep. Next month, on the solstice.”

“Why? Why here?” Sakusa asked, even though he knew it was a stupid question. They can’t get married at home.

“Um…” Bokuto looked puzzled by the question. “Why not here? We’ve been together since high school.” he shrugged. It was as if the thought of getting married in Antarctica didn’t seem like a strange venue idea. “We’ve been thinking about it for a long time. This is the longest we’ve been apart ever, I really miss him. I really really love him, and he really really loves me. It’s gonna be so much fun! I can’t wait!” Bokuto’s beaming smile out-competed Hinata’s. “We’re gonna be husbands for realsies!”

Sakusa felt nauseated at the word _realsies_. Yet, Sakusa wasn’t completely heartless. He bowed forwards. “Thank you for the invitation.”

“Haha! You’re welcome!” Bokuto hummed to himself. “Oh, do you want those posting?” he finally noticed the wedge of cards Sakusa was holding.

Sakusa nodded, handing them over.

“Are you coming to games night?” Bokuto mused, searching for his international stamp book for Sakusa to choose from.

Sakusa shivered. Games night. He had no choice but to attend. It was in his cabin. Atsumu had described it as, _“We get drunk on Shion’s tinned pineapple wine, and try to play board games.”_ Sakusa was not going to drink the pineapple slurry. 

Sakusa chose stamps of gentoo penguins for his family members, stamps of the queen for his great aunt, and a stamp of Boaty McBoatface to send to Ushijima.

Bokuto laughed at the submarine stamp. Sakusa hoped it would bring a smile to Ushijima’s face as well.

Sakusa could hear the tourists starting to arrive. He made his goodbyes to Bokuto, heading out of the post office. 

Adriah was beginning his talk about the resident gentoo penguins to the gathering tourists. A group of tourists towards the back were giggling, taking photos of Atsumu. He was currently being chased by some angry looking penguins.

Atsumu tried to fend them off with his yard brush, they chattered and snapped at him. “Leave me alone, I didn’t touch your eggs!” he wailed, climbing the stairs to the post office in hopes they didn’t know how to climb stairs. “What’s your problem with me!” he growled at the toddler-sized birds.

“Not even the birds like you.” Sakusa scoffed.

“If you say one more word. Mushroom boy," Atsumu spoke in a threatening whisper. “I will point this poo brush in your face.”

Sakusa hurdled off the side of the steps, and up the hillside back to the safety of his room.

  
  


There was one problem Sakusa kept running into from having a 12 hour time difference to his normal working day. He finally logged off from a webinar at 5 am local time. He sat back, closing his eyes. If he were to go to bed, he would no doubt sleep through breakfast, and there was still work here he had to take care of in the morning. It wasn’t worth starting one of his jigsaws, he hated leaving them unfinished, that was a job for the weekend.

Sakusa spun around in his chair, pondering what he could do with the next hour and a half. Who would be awake?

Sakusa grumbled to himself. He did know two idiots who never slept, and who he had promised to visit.

The morning air was still. Sakusa never got used to the silence of the antarctic. Standing still, he could hear his blood pumping through his body. He thrived in the beautiful symphony of nothingness. The heat from the sun up above warmed his face making him feel awake again. The temperature had started to pick up in the last few weeks as the days grew longer. If he forgot about where he was, it felt like he was on holiday, not on an icecap at the bottom of the world. Sakusa had been considering taking up skiing when he got back, just to carry on enjoying being surrounded by mountains of snow. But, on second thought, Sakusa didn’t want to get in the news for dying in an avalanche, that was far too embarrassing.

The artist studio wasn’t far from where they lived. It was a renovated older cabin, with many of the walls taken out, with partitions put in place to create separate studios. 

Sakusa knocked gently on the front door before turning the handle. The door opened up into the main sculpture area. Atsumu and Shouyou were in the middle of the room.

“Oh! Kiyoomi!” Shouyou’s voice reverberated through the open space. He was wielding a chisel, hacking at a block of ice. “Come in!” Shouyou waved, setting down his tools. “What time is it?”

“It’s just gone 5 am.” Sakusa replied, stepping onto the grey, clay and paint-covered studio floor. There were 4 other working artists on residency like Shouyou, but he was currently the only one working.

“5 AM!” Shouyou shrieked. Atsumu chuckled at him deliriously. “Oh my! Let me get you a seat!” he scurried off into his personal studio, dragging out the cleanest chair he could find. He covered it with painters plastic liner for Sakusa to sit on. “Welcome to my studio.”

Atsumu was sitting on an old wooden potter's stool, slouching over the table Shouyou was working on, laid like a cat. He kept helping himself to chipped pieces of ice that fell off the sculpture. Atsumu crunched the ice flakes with his mouth open, tiredly watching Shouyou.

“Can I make you some tea? Oh! Or maybe some coffee.” Shouyou offered. 

_Ah, coffee._ “Coffee would be great thank you.” Sakusa bowed his head at the offer. 

“Coming right up!” Shouyou saluted, running off into the corner where the coffee machine sat.

“So, what brings you here, Oomi Oomi?” Atsumu continued to crunch ice.

“I was in an online seminar about thesis stuff.” Sakusa yawned. 

Atsumu sleepily nodded in understanding. 

“Why are you here? _Tsum Tsum_?” he added Bokuto’s nickname for Atsumu hoping he’d cringe at it as Sakusa did with Oomi Oomi.

Atsumu grinned like a fox. “Well,” he flipped his hair to the side out of his eyes, sitting up, ready to say something clever.

“He’s here because he can’t get to sleep without me,” Shouyou shouted across from the kitchen space. Atsumu’s face went bright red. Shouyou laughed back at him. “Don’t sulk. I’d be lonely without you keeping me company.” he blew a kiss to Atsumu. Atsumu’s angry pout cheered up as he pretended to catch the flying kiss.

Sakusa rolled his eyes at the two of them. _“_ What are you working on Shouyou-kun?”

Sakusa stared at the asymmetrical ice blob in front of him. 

“It’s one of my newest sculptures!” Shouyou skipped over, leaving the coffee machine to do its thing. “I think I’m gonna make an installation of these big ice carvings,” Shouyou gestured, spreading his arms out wide. “Maybe show them on a plinth, with hidden projectors underneath.” He was speaking fast, full of energy. “I have been thinking about casting them, making plastic, or maybe silicone models of the ice sculptures so I can show them as objects in my exhibition.” Shouyou smoothed part of the top with the heat of his hands.

Sakusa was transfixed at its slowly melting alien formation. "What is it meant to be?" he couldn’t work it out.

“It's not meant to be anything!” Shouyou stated with an excited tone.

Sakusa held in a sigh. He hated art like that. He didn’t realise Shouyou was one of those artists.

Shouyou walked back over to the coffee pot, still rambling about his art. “I’m super interested in the idea of making these plastic copies of the glacial sea ice. I think there’s just such an irony in it.” He reached into the cupboard above the painting sink, pulling out two mugs, washing one of them thoroughly. “I think it presents the irony of the modern Anthropocene we find ourselves in. The act of trying to preserve nature, and its precious resources by the very material that is contributing to its destruction…”

Sakusa could not concentrate on Shouyou’s words, due to the fact Atsumu was in his ear loudly crunching ice non-stop in the most disgusting way.

Sakusa, described himself as a connoisseur of ice eating ASMR. It was shamefully what he used to fall asleep, and Atsumu was destroying the entire art of it.

“Do you think I should start an ice eating Instagram account?” Atsumu questioned aloud.

“Absolutely not.” Sakusa immediately shot him down, staring him down.

Atsumu chuckled. “Do you not like it Oomi Oomi?” he put on a calm ASMRtist voice, fluttering his fingers. “Does it give you unwanted tingles.” he winked, licking an ice cube.

“No.” Sakusa scoffed back. “You are the opposite of ASMR. Ice eating should sound clean, and crisp. It most definitely doesn’t involve any tongue.”

“Do you want anything in your coffee Oomi-kun?” Shouyou shouted, across from the kitchen corner. 

Sakusa cleared his throat to raise his voice a little. “No thank you. I’ll just take it black.”

Shouyou threw him a thumbs up. He steadily, slowly returned carrying two mugs towards them. His tongue poking out between his lips in concentration. “Here you go.” Shouyou handed Sakusa his drink. “And for you.” he handed a mug covered in dried clay to Atsumu with a smile. “I’m so sorry for keeping you up all night.”

Atsumu’s eyes knitted in confusion. “If I drink this I will be up all night…well, morning. Can’t we just take a nap after breakfast?” he suggested.

Shouyou placed a small kiss on Atsumu’s forehead, before moving back to his sculpture. “You’re at work in 2 hours.”

“What?” Atsumu protested. “It’s Thursday? I don’t work Thursday morning.”

“It’s Wednesday.” Shouyou, and Sakusa corrected at the same time.

Atsumu groaned, “I fucked up.”

“You fucked up.” Shouyou nodded.

“I really fucked up.” he took a long resigned sip of his coffee.

  
  


Sakusa Kiyoomi usually came to most of his epiphanies whilst washing his hands. The meditative rhythm of the movement gave him time to pause, to think. He was currently waiting to hear back from the university, to see if he could gain access to an ebook from another university's library. They were dragging their feet about it, and Sakusa was bored. 

Sakusa applied a little hand cream once he'd dried his hands. There was once a time when they were calloused from years of playing volleyball. Those calluses were now gone. It was as if he had never played the sport at all. The only telltale signs, if you knew what you were looking for, were a few misshapen fingers, once broken, bent back, and battered in the heat of a match. Sometimes he missed it, the adrenaline of it all. But, he liked where he was now.

Sakusa clenched his fist, looking over his boney white knuckles. “Wait…” Sakusa had his epiphany. He glanced up at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, the sound of Atsumu howling with laughter in Shouyou's room echoed down the hallway. “That little prick.” he whispered back at his reflection. 

Sakusa did know Atsumu. Miya Atsumu, number one dickhead of the Inarizaki High School Volleyball Team.

Sakusa grabbed his phone from his pocket, frantically googling the name “Miya Atsumu.” in the kanji he thought belonged to Atsumu.

The first result he was faced with belonged to a reddit post labelled. _Whatever happened to Atsumu Miya?”_ He opened the link.

> _Whatever happened to Atsumu Miya?_
> 
> * * *
> 
> _ >Does anyone else remember that guy who debuted for the MSBY Black Jackals and then was never seen again? He was a great rookie player, it’s as if he’s dropped off the face of the earth? Does anyone know anything? _
> 
> * * *
> 
> _ >>Hey op, I did a little digging and I found an article (link) in Japanese that highlights the fact he went missing almost 2 years ago! The family did initially pursue a missing persons case but are convinced he’s out there somewhere so they dropped it. His passport was missing, as well as quite a bit of his stuff, and they managed to trace him buying one way flights to the Falkland’s Island. Rumour has it he might even be in Antarctica! His dad made a statement on why they stopped pursuing his location that basically translates to “he’ll come home in his own time.” Pretty interesting! I wonder what he’s doing out there! _

Sakusa leant back against the sink. Digesting what he was reading. He smirked at the photo attached to the article, it was Atsumu during a match, doing his stupid fist in the air to silence the crowd before he served. Sakusa couldn’t wait to tease the hell out of him later. His cover was blown.

Sakusa stood from his office desk, stretching. Today had been a long, yet productive day. He managed to complete another 3000 words of his thesis. Satisfied, Sakusa packed up his things, heading back to his cabin. 

It was late, just after 10 pm on a Friday night. However, there was a spring in his step at the thought of taking on something from the ‘extreme sudoku’ book his mother had sent him in the post. That was all up until he turned the door handle to the sound of Bokuto’s snort-laugh. It was games night. Sakusa audibly groaned. How could he forget. 

Sakusa reluctantly untied his shoes, leaving them in their usual place on the shoe rack. Bokuto’s boots were haphazardly added in the shoe mountain that belonged to Atsumu, and Shion.

He unwillingly tiptoed past the living room where everyone was sat, hoping to go by unnoticed. 

A chorus of “Oomi-kun!” greeted him as soon as he slunk past the open door. 

Sakusa died inside. Taking a step back, to give them a wave of acknowledgement. 

“Welcome home!” Adriah hiccuped, his face was blushed pink from alcohol.

“Come drink with us!” Bokuto poured a cup of Shion’s tinned pineapple homebrew out for him.

It’s not that alcohol was banned at the research station, there just wasn’t a vast supply of it. 

Shion had explained to Sakusa he started making it as a joke a few years ago with the guys who work in the kitchen, mostly to see if they could pull it off with the few ingredients they had. But now, it had become the staple cheap alcoholic drink of many a weekend off for those on the station.

Sakusa politely declined, the smell alone made him nauseous. 

“I can get you some water!” Shouyou Naruto ran past Sakusa, into the kitchen and back like a 100 metre relay. “Here you go!” he offered the bottle of water, catching his breath. Shouyou was tipsy, and when he was tipsy, he felt fast. Shouyou sat back down, on Atsumu’s lap, leaving his floor cushion for Sakusa at the head of the table. Sakusa took a deep breath, accepting the invitation to join them. 

“We’re playing never have I ever.” Shion winked.

Sakusa frowned, sitting down, “Do we have to?” he’d rather be playing sudoku. “Can we at least keep it PG.” he spoke in a huff.

The group groaned back at him for killing their fun.

“Not even any mention of toes?” Atsumu slurred, outraged. “Not even any PG-13 feet jokes?”

“Atsumu!” Adriah shouted. “Pay the tax.” He pointed at the window ledge.

Upon the window ledge was a money box. The money box was the shape of a shoe, based on the nursery rhyme _there was an old lady who lived in a shoe._ It didn’t belong to anyone, it had just always been part of the living room. An ancient relic left by the ancestors of the cabin. At some point in its lineage, someone had deemed it necessary to create a swear jar style tax for whenever a foot fetish joke was made. They must pay the 69p tax.

Atsumu scratted about in his jean pockets trying to cough up change. He gently moved Shouyou off his lap making the walk of shame to the jar, whilst the others chanted, “Pay the tax! Pay the tax!”

“I’m gonna have to owe 9p.” Atsumu angrily wrote his name in the IOU notepad.

“If you don’t do the time, don’t have the crime!” Bokuto sang, swaying from side to side. The saying was completely wrong, nobody corrected him. “If you don’t have the money, don’t eat the honey!” he continued, laughing at his own jokes.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Atsumu shot him a stare. He settled himself back down, this time on Shouyou’s lap. Shouyou put his arms around Atsumu’s waist, giving him a little kiss on the nape of his neck.

“I can’t see.” Shouyou’s voice was muffled behind Atsumu’s back. Atsumu slumped down under the table, resting his head on Shouyou’s chest.

“So, old man.” Atsumu threw a look at Sakusa. “Start us off then,” he swirled his plastic wine glass of fermented pineapple, not blinking the entire time, “with your PG rated never have I ever examples.”

Sakusa looked around the room, the glassy drunken eyes staring back at him, he felt put on the spot, yet he knew exactly what he wanted to say.

He chuckled internally, cracking open the top from his water bottle. “Never have I ever…” he paused, trying to remember how to even play. “Ran away from home, and let my family and friends believe I was a missing persons.”

“Wow!” Adriah gasped. Shion was laughing. “That is so specific.”

Atsumu’s face was seething.

Bokuto’s watery gurgle diverted the attention. He was trying his best to take a sip, he was giggling too much to do so. “I used to run away all the time. I used to run to my grandparent’s house and hide in their vegetable patch and stay there till someone noticed me. One time I was gone so long they called the police.” He finally managed to hold his breath, taking a sip. “I once asked my mum why I’m an only child and she said ‘ _one of you is enough.’_ ”

Shion laughed back at him. “I don’t think that’s a compliment.”

“Shouyou it’s your turn next.” Adriah topped up everyone’s drinks.

“Hmmmmmm…” Shouyou pondered, resting his chin on Atsumu’s enraged head. “Never have I ever eaten my own bogies.” 

Sakusa wanted to race out of the room. 

“Oh wait no…I have done that.” Everyone but Sakusa took a sip. The room was in hysterics. “Do I get another go? Because I messed up?” Shouyou spoke over the laughter, accidentally dribbling some of his drink in Atsumu’s hair. He tried to pat it out, hoping Atsumu wouldn’t notice.

Atsumu didn’t notice. He assumed Shouyou was just lovingly patting his head. “You can have my go.” Atsumu offered, his voice was quiet. 

“Never have I ever…” Shouyou giggled to himself. “Thought it was a fart, but actually it was a shart.”

Bokuto spat out a mouthful of drink, knocking his entire pint size glassful across the whole table. “I’m sorry!” he scream laughed, standing up. 

The entire living room stank of pineapples.

Sakusa was thanking all the holy deities that none of the drink or the spit had come as far as him. 

Adriah and Shion stood up quickly, gathering things off the table. Adriah was hurriedly trying to soak up the liquid with the tablecloth he’d put down. Bokuto’s infectious laughter even had Atsumu laughing.

“I’ll take this to the laundry room.” Adriah stumbled out of the living room, dripping bundle in hand.

“I need a smoke after this.” Shion was patting Bokuto down with some tissues.

Bokuto was still laughing, swaying on his feet. “I think I should take a shower. I’m sticky.”

“Do you wanna come for a smoke?” Shion asked Atsumu, giving up.

Atsumu slumped further under the table, his head rested on Shouyou’s stomach. “I’m not drunk enough yet.”

Shion shrugged, leading Bokuto out of the cabin.

When they were gone, Shouyou poked at Atsumu’s cheeks. “Ok, what’s wrong?” he demanded to know. “You always smoke when you’re drinking.”

Atsumu sighed, closing his eyes. “Don’t feel like it tonight.”

“Look at me.” Shouyou wined. He tried to tickle Atsumu’s armpits. “Tell me what’s wrong, loser.”

Atsumu swatted his hands away, squeezing his eyes shut. “No.” he protested, trying his best to hold in a giggle. 

Sakusa cleared his throat, reminding them he was still sitting next to them.

Shouyou giggled, looking up at Sakusa. “Sorry.” he apologised with a smile.

“I fucked up, Shouyou.” Atsumu covered his face.

“What’s new.” Shouyou lightly kissed Atsumu’s forehead. 

“Sakusa and I played volleyball together in high school.” Atsumu peaked up at Shouyou through his fingers.

Shouyou’s mouth dropped, looking between the two of them. “Seriously!?” he exclaimed. “You played volleyball!?” Shouyou started tapping Atsumu’s head like a bongo. “You told me you never played volleyball in high school!”

“I know, I’m sorry.” Atsumu overflowed with tears. He was a tearful drunk. “I played on a division 1 team too.”

“What!” Shouyou flicked Atsumu’s nose hard.

“Well, we didn’t actually play volleyball together,” Sakusa spoke up. “We played against each other.” Atsumu nodded. Shouyou was still amazed. “I googled you.”

“What! You googled me?” Atsumu kicked Sakusa under the table. “Who the fuck google’s the people they live with?”

Sakusa dodged his kicking. “Who the fuck lets their family think they’re missing?” he repeated Atsumu’s sentiment.

Atsumu yelled, hiding his face in his t-shirt, he was an ugly crier. 

After a small pause, Shouyou tentatively pulled his shirt away from his face. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.” Atsumu sat up, moving off Shouyou’s lap. He wiped his puffy eyes with his hands. “I played volleyball. I’m sorry I lied to you.” he brought his knees up to his chin, hugging his legs. “Before I graduated I had a huge argument with my twin brother. He didn’t want to play anymore. I got so angry we didn’t talk for months. The next thing I know I’m accepted to play on a team in Tokyo, moving 400 miles from home.” Atsumu picked at his fingers anxiously. “I thought I’d like it in the city, but it was just too busy for me. I couldn’t breathe. I never got a chance to go home in a year, and I stopped talking to my family and friends from home altogether. There was a point when I barely left my room, unless it was for practice, and even then I hated the fucking coach.” Atsumu balled his fist in anger. Shouyou gently placed his hands over Atsumu’s. Atsumu steadied his breath. “I just got overwhelmed with everything. Every day I thought about running away. Just run away from it all, and do anything but what I was doing. I was so lonely. I applied here on a whim, and got accepted.” Atsumu untangled his hands from Shouyou’s, fidgeting to sit cross legged. “I didn’t tell anyone about it I just bought my flights and left.” Atsumu stared at the table. “Did my family really put a missing persons case out on me?”

Sakusa nodded.

“Atsumu,” Shouyou spoke in a gentle tone. “You’re gonna have to call your family, tell them where you are.” 

“I can’t!” he shouted, head butting the table. “I’ll go back home… after all of this.” he mumbled into the table. Atsumu let out a frustrated shout.

“And I’m coming with you.” Shouyou carded his fingers through Atsumu’s hair.

“Really?” Atsumu questioned, turning his face to Shouyou.

“Really.” Shouyou gently wiped a tear from Atsumu’s face with his thumb, holding his face.

“What about your exhibition stuff?” Atsumu sat up, leaning his head on Shouyou’s shoulder.

“I can work around it.” Shouyou put both his arms around Atsumu, holding him in close. "You're just as important to me."

As sickening as they were sometimes, and as much as Sakusa hated public displays of affection. Sitting back, watching their exchange, Sakusa was glad that Atsumu had someone like Shouyou in his life to balance him out.

Bokuto crashed into the cabin, his loud footsteps running up the hallway. “I finally found my Sherk 2 Top Trump Cards!” triumphantly waving them above his head, not reading the room at all. “Who wants to play!?”

It was 8 days before the wedding. Sakusa stared into the abyss of his wardrobe. He had not planned to be going to a wedding when he packed for living here. Outfit planning was currently absorbing all his thoughts.

Shion was in the kitchen listening to music, so Sakusa decided to consult him.

Shion sat with his feet up on the kitchen table, he scrambled to sit upright seeing Sakusa in the doorway.

“Do you know what you’re wearing to the wedding?” Sakusa queried.

“I have absolutely no idea!” Shion lamented. “I think I’m gonna have to borrow clothes from Shouyou, or maybe a shirt from Adriah or something.”

Sakusa leant against the door frame. They were in the same predicament.

“You could always ask to borrow clothes from Atsumu.” Shion had a cheeky glint in his eyes.

“I would rather die.” Sakusa turned sharply from the kitchen back to his room.

Akaashi, in Sakusa’s opinion, was one of the nicest people to ever exist. Even if he was a Sagittarius. Akaashi arrived on his birthday, 5 days before the wedding. He wasn’t what Sakusa had expected at all from Bokuto’s life partner. He’d expected someone big, loud, crazy, a bit more like Shouyou. Though Akaashi radiated such omnipotent kindness, Sakusa could see how he fitted right into Bokuto’s life. The missing parts of each other’s puzzles.

Sakusa quickly realised however, Akaashi was as much of an idiot as Bokuto.

Sakusa arrived back at the cabin one night to find Bokuto, Akaashi, Shouyou, and Bokuto’s mum, sitting in the kitchen holding a belching contest. Bokuto’s mum won. The noise rattled through Sakusa’s bedroom wall, shaking him to his core.

Bokuto’s mum had also made the journey with Akaashi. She was exactly the same as Bokuto. They were both loud, tall, and loved to laugh. Bokuto’s mum was the same age as Sakusa’s. He’d always imagined her to be younger, it made Sakusa think about what it would have been like to grow up with a mother more like Bokuto’s. He quickly erased the idea from his head, it would be his personal hell.

The morning of the wedding, Shouyou was acting like Bridezilla. Even though he was neither the bride nor the groom. Currently, Shouyou was panic ironing Atsumu’s shirt over the kitchen table. Sakusa wasn’t going to the ceremony itself, but Shouyou was, and Atsumu was his plus one.

Sakusa sat in the window seat drinking coffee, watching the show of chaos unfold.

Shouyou was the stand-in best man. The real best man was Bokuto’s childhood best friend, some guy called Kuroo Tetsuro. The plan was for Shouyou to hold a laptop, and Kuroo would be there via a video call.

“Atsumu.” Shouyou’s voice was stressed like a mother. 

Atsumu trotted back into the kitchen, no concept of their time-sensitive plans. He stood in his underwear, spraying hairspray over himself like he was in the movie Hairspray.

“You have to make me a promise, right now.” Shouyou aggressively pressed out the collar of Atsumu’s shirt.

“Anything for you, my darling.” Atsumu blew a kiss at Shouyou.

“For the next 48 hours, –” Shouyou began, placing the iron down.

Atsumu spoke over him. “48 hours is a long time.”

“For the next 48 hours,” he repeated. “You are not allowed to propose to me.”

Atsumu blushed. He fluffed noises instead of words. “As if I would.” he was looking around the room shifty.

Sakusa was thoroughly amused. “Were you actually going to?”

“No!” Atsumu spat, getting redder and redder by the second. “Why would I?” he was trying to dig himself out of a hole, just going further and further into the ground.

“Do not.” Shouyou pointed at him with the iron. “Do not propose to me at someone else’s wedding. I will break up with you.”

“Shou…” Atsumu looked like he was going to cry.

“Do not cry.” Shouyou threw the shirt at him. “We don’t have the time. Get dressed.”

Sakusa wasn’t really one for love, or romance. He certainly didn’t understand the point of weddings. Though how every person he passed in the station on the day of the wedding, the way they were smiling and cheerful, maybe opened his mind to love.

There had been other weddings between workers at the station, but everyone was sure Bokuto was the first one crazy enough to fly his spouse halfway across the world to say “I Do.”

Everyone seemed to know Bokuto. He was determined to befriend the entire station and consequently had invited them all to his wedding reception. Even people in the pathology department who worked alongside Sakusa were in attendance, writing reams of well wishes in the guest book. Sakusa had no idea how half of the people milling around the canteen got to meet Bokuto. He hoped they were here for more than just the free alcohol.

Bokuto and Akaashi had planned to hold the ceremony and celebrate here, then have another party back in Tokyo for the rest of their friends. Of course, Bokuto being Bokuto, Sakusa had been invited to the Tokyo party with a plus 1.

The artists, including Shouyou, had spent the last few weeks creating paper flowers to decorate the canteen. Their decorations made the vast boring ceiling of the room look like a beautiful meadow, with fairy lights hung all around like fireflies dancing between the flowers. Sakusa felt homesick for summer nights back home.

Sakusa was placed on a table, not surprisingly, with the people he lived with. Shouyou had decided against sitting top table. Instead, the laptop sat by itself with several of Bokuto and Akaashi’s friend's crowding inside the screen.

Meian stood in front of the top table, tapping his glass to gain everyone’s attention. “Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests. I would like you all to give a big round of applause to Keiji and Koutaro.”

The canteen doors opened, and the guests stood congratulating the couple.

Bokuto, of course, fluffed his speech and began crying not even half way through. Akaashi took over the speech, giving his own unscripted recount of how he met Bokuto. Love at first sight. He never imagined all these years later from that first encounter that they would one day be sharing a family name.

The last speech came from Bokuto’s mum. She stood up, giving her speech in Japanese. Many of the guests couldn’t understand her words, but Sakusa could. She ended her speech by expressing to everyone that she _“could not be more proud to call Keiji my son in law.”_ the weight of her words moved Sakusa’s little bleached heart to tears. For no fault of his own, he wasn’t a crier. There were times he knew when he was expected to cry, expected to show certain emotions, yet even as a child he found it difficult. He had never heard so many caring, supportive words in one place before. It overwhelmed him. Silently crying for the first time in a long long time.

“Haha, loser. Can’t believe you’re crying.” Atsumu passed him a tissue during the applause. Atsumu was also in a flood of tears. Written all over his snotty face was the hope and longing of acceptance from his own family. The words hit too close to home.

Sakusa walked over to the bar, which was a table full of box wine. He had lost count on the amount of red wine he'd drunk, he could feel the alcohol gently warming his face.

Another rosy face joined him, it was Akaashi.

“Congratulations Akaashi.” Sakusa said for the umpteenth time that night.

“Thanks.” Akaashi hiccuped, trying to squeeze the last few drops out of the red wine box, before opening another one.

“Should I also call you Bokuto now.” Sakusa offered in a joking tone.

“I guess you could. It might get a little confusing.” he laughed sheepishly. “Keiji is also fine.” Keiji leant back on the table. “Shit.” he blushed, staring at the two rings on his left hand. “I can’t believe I got married today.” he looked affectionately over to Bokuto dancing terribly on the dance floor. He was having a dance battle with Kuroo over the video call. Keiji looked up at Sakusa letting out a laugh, “he’s my husband, what the fuck.”

Sakusa looked over to watch Bokuto do a high kick with such force his other leg slid from underneath him. Keiji burst out laughing.

“Are you both heading back to Tokyo?” Sakusa poured himself another glass of wine, to hide the fact he also found Bokuto’s misfortune funny.

Keiji stood from the table. “Yeh we will be.” his smile was beaming. “My apartment is too small for both of us. We’ve both been saving for a while. Hopefully, we’ll have enough for a house deposit soon.”

“A house?” Sakusa’s voice echoed into his glass as he took a drink.

Keiji nodded. “Our friend lives in a big, old house by himself, I’m so jealous he can sit in a garden, or take a bath whenever he wants.” Keiji let out a small laugh. “I just want to be able to come home after work and sit in a garden.” Keiji swirled the wine around in his glass. “Oh,” he looked up at Sakusa. “I also want to travel in the future. We’re 100% coming to see you in Cambridge.” Keiji nudged Sakusa with his elbow.

Sakusa pulled a face. “I don’t mind you visiting me, but does he have to come too?”

Keiji laughed, finishing his drink. “Of course Koutarou is coming. He’s my husband.”

“Oomi! Oomi!” it was Shouyou. He was shouting across the room, waving his arm frantically to catch his attention.

“You should go before he bursts.” Keiji took the plastic bag of wine out of a box to keep for himself.

Sakusa sadly downed his drink, to the continued infuriating soundtrack of Shouyou shouting his name.

“Oomi-kun!” Shouyou patted the seat next to him. Sakusa refused to sit. “Do you know Ushijima Wakatoshi!” his voice was still shouting. Atsumu was sat half laid over the table, hands propping his head up as he tried to keep his eyes open.

“Yes.” Sakusa was confused at the question, and it’s urgency. “He is my friend.”

“No, no, no, as in he’s a volleyball player.” Shouyou was speaking fast, he was drunk.

“He plays for a division 1 V.league team, yeh.” Sakusa wished he’d brought a drink with him.

“Exactly!” Shouyou bounced in his chair. “Atsumu has never heard of Ushijima Wakatoshi!”

“Never heard of him.” Atsumu sleepily repeated.

“How?” Sakusa took a seat, annoyed. “He was at Tokyo training camp with us in our first year of high school. Do you honestly not remember him?”

Atsumu shrugged, sitting up. “I genuinely do not remember.”

“He’s currently the best left-handed player in Japan.” Sakusa stressed, his mouth was talking before his brain had a chance to think of something that downplayed his massive crush on Ushijima.

Atsumu took a loud sip of his cocktail through a straw. “I don’t know the guy.”

Sakusa was scowling. “Do you know Takashi Utsui?”

Atsumu looked up thinking. “My swimming teacher was called Takashi.”

“Takashi Utsui, one of the greatest left-handed players in Japanese men's volleyball who played for the olympic team in 1988, and 1992. Now he’s coaching a college team in America.”

Shouyou was looking between the two of them unsure. “Ok, but what does this have to do with Ushijima-san?”

“Takashi-san is his dad, you idiot.” Sakusa rolled his eyes at having to explain. "How do you not know this?"

Shouyou gasped. “Really!?” he put his hand on his chin. “Hm, much to think about."

Atsumu stuck his straw in Shouyou’s drink. “I still don’t know either of them.”

“How did you even make it to V.league? Do you live under a rock?” Sakusa hated his disrespect for _the_ UshiWaka.

Atsumu nodded, finishing off Shoyou’s cocktail. “I like rocks.”

Adriah ran over to the table excitedly. He bent down, putting his arms around Shouyou and Atsumu. “Are you guys gonna come and watch the sun setting? It only stays below the horizon for 5 minutes.”

Shouyou wiggled a little dance. “Let’s go!” he shouted, hugging Adriah.

They made their way out of the research station, up onto the nearby lookout. It was high up enough on the mountainside to watch the sun disappear under the sea.

Bokuto was trying to zip Keiji inside his big winter coat.

“Hey, Koutarou.” Keiji’s voice was muffled, head pressed into Bokuto’s collarbone. “For our honeymoon, can it please be somewhere warm?”

Bokuto let out a loud laugh which travelled across the snowy tundra. “Of course we can.” his face was full of adoration. 

Shouyou, Atsumu, Sakusa, and Adriah caught up with Shion.

There was a buzz of excitement for the final sunset of the year. It would be several months before the sun would next go down. Sakusa did feel a little weird about welcoming the summer solstice in the middle of December, but he chose for once to enjoy the excitement.

Atsumu wrapped his arms around Shouyou to absorb as much warmth as he could. It wasn’t particularly cold in Antarctic standards, though the temperature was still teetering around -3˚c.

“Do you think we’ll all be friends after we all leave?” Shouyou questioned everyone, a sadness in his voice. “I want to be your friends forever.” he whimpered, starting to cry.

“You’re stuck with me forever.” Atsumu kissed the top of Shouyou’s head.

“I want to keep in touch!” Adriah assured Shouyou. “Living with you guys for the last year has been so fun. I can’t wait to see your exhibition Shouyou.” Adriah’s eyes twinkled with tears.

“Don’t you cry as well.” Shion was also wiping a stray tear from his own eyes, the alcohol getting the better of his emotions. “We’ve got another 6 months before we all leave.” Shion put his arm around Adriah. “There’s no way I’m gonna let you guys forget about me.”

Sakusa wasn’t emotionless, he just felt embarrassed showing it to people. Especially showing to a large group of people what they meant to him. He closed his eyes whispering honestly, “I don’t think I could forget any of you if I tried.”

“Oomi-kun!” Shouyou wailed, going to hug him.

Sakusa laughed, a genuine laugh, the cold air in his lungs making his chest tingle. Shion hugged Sakusa from the other side. Adriah joined the hug pile from behind Shion. Sakusa relaxed into the embrace, closing his eyes, making his best effort not to shake them off. “I have only known you all for 3 months, despite that, I hope that you consider me your friend.”

Sakusa was surrounded with an echo of “Of course!”

Even Atsumu piped up with. “I don’t hate you Oomi-kun.” joining the hug pile behind Shouyou.

Sakusa couldn’t shake the inner warmth friendship was filling him with. He found himself moved to tears for the second time that day.

The 5 of them stood together, watching the sun dance under the horizon. The fading light illuminated the normally uninviting grey antarctic waters, turning it into an endless ocean of gold. It made Sakusa nostalgic for something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

The gathered crowd fell silent, watching the sun begin to peak above the skyline. It reminded Sakusa of the time he watched a lunar eclipse. The birds fell silent, there was a blanket of stillness, so muted he could hear his heart beating.

“What Animal Crossing character do you think I would be?” Shouyou broke the silence.

“Are you for real?” Atsumu spat his words in a whisper. 

“I’m drunk.” Shouyou jumped, head butting Atsumu’s chin. “Answer the question.”

“I don’t fucking know.” Atsumu muttered, rubbing his jaw. "My brother plays that shit. I don't."

“I know who you would be.” Shouyou lolled his head back looking up at Atsumu. “You’d be a cranky type. Someone like [Groucho](https://twitter.com/flameprincex/status/1270862812265492482) he laughed at his own joke, smirking at Atsumu

“I am not cranky.” Atsumu frowned.

“I like cranky villagers.” Shouyou poked Atsumu's nose. “Tell me, tell me, who I would be?” he persisted.

“I think you would be someone like Stitches.” Sakusa replied. The others turned to face him, surprised he answered the nonsense. “What?” Sakusa blushed. “Hasn’t everyone played at least one Animal Crossing game?”

Shouyou hiccupped, trying to poke Sakusa with his pointer finger, but missed, poking the air instead. “Oomi Oomi would be Raddle.”

“That’s too obvious.” Shion rolled his eyes. “Kiyoomi is not a lazy type.”

Adriah chuckled. “I like the obvious choices though.” his eyes crinkled in his smile. “I think he looks like Raddle, and you look like Marshal.”

Shion punched Adriah’s arm lightly. “If we’re being obvious then you’re Roald.”

Adriah squealed. “I love Roald.”

“I have no idea what’s going on.” Atsumu sulked.

Sakusa laughed along with them. Standing on the edge of the world, watching the endless ocean sky blush pink like the blush on his cheeks from the cold, and the red wine. He finally understood the point Komori was always trying to make. You can't always control everything that's going to happen. Letting go once in a while, being present, instead of caught up in the anxiety of the future, wasn't actually the worst thing in the world. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi felt glad to be alive.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, and especially to all those who take the time to leave kudos waaaaaah  
> i hope you enjoyed🥰  
> I had a lot of fun writing it, please excuse any mistakes, and my lack of consistent tense lol  
> I never thought I would write anything in Sakusa's pov lmaaooo, but here we are, I love my aries son.  
> if you want, I had to make a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3HHDUzkak96ZR0WO5sWm7i?si=D7Yf0t7nRjm6Spaw6P-egA) to work out the ending of how sakusas little grinch heart could grow two sizes. please imagine me staring into a word document at 3am crying at 'another night on mars'😭  
> thank you again, stay safe, we all share the same skies💕


End file.
